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RECEPTIONIST: Stock market? What's that? Is that where they stock things in a warehouse?
Did a bus or something crash into a warehouse? I don't follow the news. I normally rather like to shop at the mall, but they just
closed down my favorite mall, plus the next closest mall just closed down, so I spend a lot of time these days looking for
a mall that's open. But I guess it doesn't matter since I can't afford anything now that I've been laid off. |
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UNKNOWN SKEPTIC: I tried to warn people in 2000 that Bush would just gut the market by overspending and setting a bad example, borrowing and borrowing. That's all he knows how to do is borrow, blow cash and then borrow some more. His pathetic bailout plan crashed the market even more. We would have been better off without a bailout plan. Bush should go to jail without bail. Now that would be a good plan. |
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COOL LEE: I don't know nothin' about no stock market crash other than the soundbites on the
news that try to scare us into worrying about a Depression. Since I don't wanna be depressed, I try to stay positive by watching
happy shows on TV instead of the news. See, it's all a state of mind. If you tell yourself you're happy, then you don't have to
worry about nothin'. The only thing I gotta worry about is finding a new place to live since I'm being evicted and I got no cash
to move nowhere by the end of the month.
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JENNIFER: I'm not surprised about the Crash of 2008. It's been leading up to this for eight years now. I think there's a conspiracy by Bush and his puppet masters to wipe out the middle class and take over the banking system, which is foreclosing on a lot of homes. Pretty soon everyone will be living in their cars. I'm already living in a tent with three friends. It's actually kind of exciting to not be a prisoner of the system. |
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SKULL MADISON: Bush has done a great job saving the world of its most evil category: the middle class. I say shake the tree as much as possible and let the dealers pound down all small portfolios. Let the wealthy endure so that only the biggest banks are the last institutions standing, ready to gobble up everyone else, with marshall law ready to be enacted. To hell with small business. We shall seize their properties and turn them into prisons for those drowning in debt. Let big business take over under the ownership of the federal government. This is the dream I've been waiting for all my life, for I am of the elite, not the meek, who shall perish from this earth. |
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COLLEGE STUDENT: The stock market has fallen almost in half during the past year and a lot of that collapse has just been in the last eight days. Way to go, Bush, Congress, Paulson. You've just thrown over a trillion dollars into a fire. It's pretty obvious these guys know how to destroy the economy. Since I actually am not in debt and I know how to make money, at least ten bucks an hour, does that mean I'd be a better leader than any of these nuts running our country who are just burning globs of cash left and right? |
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BROKER BOB: I said back in July the Dow would go lower than 11,000. Remember? Well, I was right and I just covered my short positions as the market fell under 8,000 this past week. I am now in cash, and that's where I'll stay, baby. Cash is king, stocks are trash, treasury bills rule. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out. Hell, I flunked out of Harvard and look how well I read the market. It makes you wonder if the market isn't rigged and I'm just a good ol' boy who knows how to play the game. Well, those who know ain't talkin' and those talkin' don't know, so I'll leave it at that. |