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CANDY: Oh, that would be great. We all need to learn more about the scriptures. The only reason why we're
on this planet is to serve God. It would be good for society to lose the whole made up story about evolution and get back to the actual history of the world,
which started about 2000 years ago with Jesus. Or maybe it started a little before then, because first there was Adam and Eve, then there was Noah's
Ark, and then Jesus. So maybe the Earth is really 3000 years old. It's hard to say because the Bible doesn't really give dates, so I guess that means
dates aren't really important. |
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LEFT GUARD LARRY: Man, the Bible is for people who would rather go to church on Sunday than watch football. I myself
would rather watch football. See, if there is a god, why would he put football up against church, unless of course, football is the real religion.
For me it is at least. And it's made me a better person because it's taught me how to hurt people better in case I'm attacked. See, if I went to
church instead I might miss out on being a better person, which leads me to believe that football is the actual true word of God. |
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SKULL MADISON: Hey, I don't subscribe to it, but if it helps manipulate people into thinking Bush is great and
that war is justified, I say bring it on. We might even think about rewriting the Bible while we're at it, since some of it
is out of date. For example, let's drop the first two commandments and replace them with something that gives the impression that war is okay after all,
especially if it's for the sake of greed. Oh yeah, and the word "America" needs to be thrown in the Bible somewhere.
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FATHER SULLIVAN: I can't think of a better idea than to start teaching the Bible in public schools. This idea that it's
okay to question or avoid religion is very disturbing since the scriptures confirm that the Lord is our saviour and that those who do not follow his word
shall meet a wicked destiny. |
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COLLEGE STUDENT: Bible taught in schools? Which version? King James? I hope they don't forget to mention how many people
were beheaded for not translating the Bible according to the king. Maybe we should also make it mandatory for people to study Santa Claus and the
Easter Bunny while we're at it. You know, it didn't take the Bible to teach me that if you treat people like crap they're going to treat you like crap
in return. I was actually born with that knowledge. |
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SINGER BOY GIRL: I wouldn't mind prayer in school and all that other stuff if the straights pushing this stuff would
back off on their false claims that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong. It never says that anywhere in the Bible. As far as I know the topic never
even comes up. So if they can't clarify that the Bible allows people to be gay, and that gay marriage is acceptable, then let's not be too quick to
let the homophobes have their way. |
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MADAM OF THE PLANETS: If they're going to teach kids that the Bible is fact then let's also teach kids that aliens
have visited the Earth a number of times, dating back to the beginning of the Egyptian pyramids. |
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GURU DION: The Bible is nothing more than a collection of literary works written by men who were commissioned by their
religious and political leaders. What people forget or perhaps have never known is that there were a lot more books written to be included in the Bible that never made it, just because those writers came from nations that lost wars fought over what would be included in the Bible. Without understanding this context,
the Bible is merely a propaganda tool for government and nothing more. |