TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

Do you think the world is going to hell? (9/22/05)

respondent quote
GW BULLSH: Well, eventually, yes. There will be Armageddon just as the prophecies have warned us. God even told me the other day that we've got to destroy as much of the world as possible just for the hell of it, even though God will eventually destroy the entire planet anyway. See, evil is whatever I say is evil, based on what God tells me. In other words, he's left me in charge.
RECEPTIONIST: I don't think the world is going to hell. Even if it were, I don't pay much attention to what's going on in the world anyway - I'm more into television.
UNKNOWN SKEPTIC: Yep. It's going to hell alright, at least in the figurative sense of the word. If there is a God why does he or she let all these natural disasters happen? Oh, I forgot, there really is no God. Anyway, it's nice to think we're all gonna be saved someday, because that completely comforts our egos that we really are that important compared to the billions of planets and stars and specks of dust that surround us. In other words, the universe depends on humanity. Yeah, right.
CANDY: Even though things might seem bad, at least we have a Christian in the White House that's going to follow God's word. I'm not worried at all. I think since I'm a Republican I'll get into heaven no problem. That's why I don't feel guilty about being greedy and treating the lower class like dirt. God knows I'm selfish but God forgives me because I voted for Bush.
DJ YOYO JO-Z: In some cases, yes, the world has already gone to hell. I'm like the last good DJ on the planet, which is why my gigs still pack the house on Friday nights while the rest of the clubs have turned ghost town. Come to one of my gigs and you'll see why I'm the solution to this problem. I bring spirit to the dance floor. Bush and all them other fools don't understand that dancing sets people free. Instead, they all move in a stiff ass lame direction, puttin' society in a stranglehold, like we're as stupid as they are. If they only knew what I know...
MR. BIG BIZ: No, quite the contrary. As long as oil prices keep rising, I think my investments will keep growing. Peak oil is actually a good thing for those of us who foresee the future of energy. As long as this administration does everything in their power to keep oil prices rising - you know, keep the war going, keep manipulating the price of crude by playing with production schedules on a daily basis, then all of us oil investors - Bush, Cheney, myself - should be in great shape.
JENNIFER: Are you kidding? This world has been on a one-way ticket to Satan's playground since as far back as I can remember. Look at 9/11, the Tsunami in Indonesia, Hurricane Katrina, the Supreme Court about to go full on extreme right wing. Too much bad stuff is happening all at once. Too many religious freaks are posing as God's messengers. Even though I'm not religious, it sure seems like the Devil has taken over while God is tied up in a closet.
LEFT GUARD LARRY: Yo, if the Oakland Raidaz have one more bad season, then I'll know for sure that hell is comin' up next. If God can't fix that sketchy team even with Randy Moss, then I guess no one can, simple as that, and we just have to accept hell as our destiny.
SKULL MADISON: I don't concern myself with afterworlds or other forms of mythology. My vision of hell would be if the United States gave up on trying to be the most imperialistic nation on Earth. If we can't dictate, what good are we? Heh? I know the money's running out and the economy's headed for a big crash, but that's part of the plan to separate the haves from the have nots. Besides, even if there is a hell, let's not knock it until we try it. Let's keep an open mind.











© 2005 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.