TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

What do you predict will be the verdict in the Michael Jackson trial? (6/3/05)

respondent quote
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, he's so sweet and innocent. Obviously Michael does nice things for children and he's misunderstood. I can't imagine a jury convicting someone like that who has done so much for kids. I think the accuser just exaggerated because the parents decided it was an opportunity to make lots of money off of a billionaire. I would have done the same thing, but I don't have any kids to set up Michael Jackson.
UNKNOWN SKEPTIC: You mean the Jackson distraction? It's just one more overblown case designed to divert attention from the story that Bush's approval ratings are falling quickly. That aside, I think it has boiled down to a he said he said case. Because Jackson ruined his own credibility by showing up late once and in pajamas another time, Jackson will be found guilty of at least one charge. Bad luck follows people who don't march lockstep with the court system.
CANDY: I think Michael Jackson is guilty just because he's weird. That alone should get him a prison sentence. Obviously he has a history of inappropriate relationships with young boys, so I'm gonna say guilty on all counts. You can count on it.
COOL LEE: Michael Jackson is my all time hero. There is no way he's going down. He's put out too many good songs to deserve what he's going through. I still listen to Thriller and Bad all the time. Those accusers are just using Michael because he's the king. He is not guilty - repeat - not guilty. I expect Michael to file his own conspiracy charges after he is acquitted.
DJ YOYO JO-Z: Yo, "Billie Jean" is still da magic throwdown. It's my secret weapon to pack da dance floor at my gigs. Michael is still da best. Just like O.J., he will walk, because once you throwdown and make it to da top, there ain't no way no one can bring you down until you mess up on ya own. So far Michael has just been Michael and he ain't got no reason to worry 'bout doin' no prison time cuz he ain't guilty cuz he ain't done nothin' wrong.
LEFT GUARD LARRY: I think he's guilty - but I think the jury will walk his ass - and I'll tell you why. Michael Jackson is a fag who sleeps with kids, that we know. But since the kid couldn't keep his story straight, the jury will just say...Michael's just a little weird, that's all. No one got hurt, so let him go. Now see, in my case I busted someone's jaw, and the evidence spoke for itself, so I did do time.
WORKER JOE: I think Michael Jackson will be found guilty, but just of the misdemeanor charge of serving alcohol to minors. Everything else seemed bogus. Of course, I myself haven't been paying attention to the case, I'm just relating what I heard at work. Personally I think he should be locked up just because he's just a fruitcake. I don't mean that in a bad way - the dude just don't fit in with society.
SINGER BOY GIRL: At first I thought Michael had nothing to worry about. Now that I've followed the case I realize that too much damaging information about Michael came out in the case. Not that Michael is a bad guy, he just put himself in a bad situation, especially when the gay porno and child pornography surfaced in his bedroom. Once people know you're remotely gay, that automatically puts you against the norm, which makes you look like an outlaw. So I think he'll be found guilty of at least one felony charge.
GOOFBALL GREG: Michael Jackson is just a total queer who tricks kids into crawling in bed with him after he lets them go on a bunch of rides at his carnival home, whatever it's called. I predict he will be found guilty of being gay, which as you recall, Bush made illegal in the last election.
DAVE THE ATTORNEY: First of all, you have to understand the defense was very weak. They made several grave mistakes. One was that they never delivered on their opening promise that the jury would hear from Michael Jackson. Another was that the defense never challenged the charge of serving alcohol to minors. They were also unable to block the prosecution from entering evidence from the 1993 case. Even so, there were enough inconsistencies on both sides to result in a hung jury, thus a mistrial.











© 2005 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.