TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

So what's your reaction to Michael Jackson being acquitted of all charges? (6/13/05)

respondent quote
RECEPTIONIST: I knew the jury would make the right decision. Michael Jackson was never guilty. He may have associated with the wrong people at the wrong time, but now maybe he knows to be more careful as to who he chooses as his friends. There are a lot of swindlers out there trying to make money off celebrities, as this case clearly revealed.
UNKNOWN SKEPTIC: I'm just relieved we can put this issue to bed, so to speak. There are way more serious things going on in the world and we can't let something like the Jackson distraction throw us off course ever again. Thanks to this artificial media frenzy, Bush and the neo-cons were able to take a few more baby steps toward stripping away all of our rights by quietly trying to renew the Patriot Act.
COLLEGE STUDENT: The charges were just thrown together by officials who thought their credibility could outshine and overpower that of a wacked superstar. But it still comes down to the evidence, and in this case all the evidence was sketchy. The whole case hinged on Jackson's image and nothing more than that. In other words, the case was about as fluffy and trite as Jackson's pop songs. The worst thing about this case is that it gives new life to Jackson's mediocre music. I was more comfortable with him being a has been. Thanks a lot, Sneddon.
COOL LEE: I knew Michael was innocent of all charges. I'll admit, though, I was worried the jury would make the wrong decision. See, the reason Michael is innocent is because you have to ask the question, why would the king of pop, who loves children, do anything to hurt children? It just didn't add up. I was worried that some of the jury might not understand what the definition of the word "love" is.
DJ YOYO JO-Z: They tried to take him down, but da king proved da liars to be false. Even though it took da jury a week to decide and I coulda been a one-man jury who coulda made da correct call without a trial, it's all good, because we threw a party for Michael. Now everyone salutes da "Man in da Mirror." Some might say Michael walked, but I say Michael moon walked, and da turning point was when Michael danced on top of his SUV. Da greatest thing I ever learned from Michael, was that even when da rest of da world falls apart, dancing will set you free.
GOOFBALL GREG: Oh man, this looks bad on the court system. Obviously, they could not find a competent all-white jury to convict a frickin' menace to society. They must have been fans, and that's not what a trial is all about. It's not supposed to be comedy, but that's what Jay Leno and that Home Alone kid turned it into.
DAVE THE ATTORNEY: Even though I may have implied there was a slight chance of a mistrial, I was still cautiously optimistic that justice would be served. I congratulate Tom Mesereau on a job well done. As I had stated before, the prosecution lacked credibility, which was the key to the Jackson victory, besides the fact that the accuser's mother should have never snapped her fingers and winked at the jury. Without that incident, it probably would have gone the other way on all counts.











© 2005 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.