TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

How do you feel about Martha Stewart getting her own Reality TV Show? (2/2/05)

respondent quote
COOL LEE: I don't really follow Martha Stewart. I know nothing of her other than she has a cooking show and that she's made a lot of money. So I guess, being a television success, I don't see why she won't be just as successful doing The Apprentice. I usually go along with every decision the networks make, and this one's no different.
MR. BIG BIZ: Now, don't get me started on that jailbird Martha Stewart. She's doing time for a reason, and her conviction is part of an ongoing crusade to clean up Wall Street. Let's not give out rewards to convicted felons too easily. Donald Trump needs to rethink this. It could cause havoc on the improving cultural landscape in which everyone's getting back to morals. I suggest we send letters to the network and see if we can stop this from happening.
JENNIFER: It figures that the media would try to capitalize on the case. It's all about audience research and market share. Apparently millions of people will tune in just to see Martha. Even though I think they made a bigger deal out of her case than they needed, I'm tired of hearing about Martha Stewart, like what happens to her is supposed to have some big effect on my life. There's bigger issues. Come on people, wake up.
SKULL MADISON: Get her off my TV screen. I only watch Fox News and the History Channel anyway. What's she gonna do? Teach us how to cook? Her contribution to society has been minimal, and what she did to land herself in prison was very very wrong. And ya know what? She's a Democrat - and we need to lock up as many of those kooks as possible. Gimme a show with substance. Where is the all-Bush channel?
WOMEN'S RIGHTS ACTIVIST: I think Martha deserves her own reality TV show after being smeared as the scapegoat for Wall Street corruption. It seems we have some jealous men that can't handle the fact Martha has outperformed almost every man in every facet of business. I think she'll get higher ratings than Donald Trump. I think she could even win the White House in '08 if she wanted, but most likely she'll let Hilary Clinton or Barbara Boxer take it.
JOE DOAKES: Hey, that's great. I love Martha Stewart. She's an entertaining figure who went to prison because she's a bad liar. I find that to be hilarious. It was funny watching her in that Barbara Walters interview a while back when Barbarba kept trying to get Martha to admit she was lying. Martha said she couldn't talk about it. That's almost as funny as Michael Jackson pretending to be roughed up by the police. I like watching people make it to the top and then fall back to the bottom. If makes me feel better about myself, that I'm not the world's biggest loser after all.
DAVE THE ATTORNEY: There may still be some legalities that are being overlooked here. There may be some statutes that require certain conditions for felons to be employed. I'm afraid, however, that Martha will continue to be represented by weak counsel who gets her into deeper trouble. I just wish there were some way she could get a hold of me.
WOODY: I'm actually saddened to hear Martha will get her own show. In my day, if you did something wrong and went to jail, that was a scar you had to bear the rest of your life. It seems like these days, having a criminal record is a prerequisite in the entertainment industry. I don't see how Martha Stewart is any different than some of the thugs who make gangster rap. But now that bin Laden has his own reality TV show, I guess anything's possible.




all drawings © 2005 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.