TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

Should the U.S. have gone to war with Iraq? (4/9/04)

respondent quote
COUNSELOR JENNINGS: History shows that the only way to get a population to back massive military action is to get them to fear they will be attacked. The whole idea that Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and that he could wipe out America was just a big fairy tale. The sad thing is that it worked and that America ended up killing thousands of innocent people - just to seize control of Iraq's oil. We've been after their oil since the late thirties when we discovered they have the second largest oil reserves on Earth, right behind Saudi Arabia. I for one do not support imperialism because all it does is make a country the enemy of the world.
OLD MAN WICKER: I don't like war. I've lived through a bunch of them - and each one was supposed to be the war to end all wars and they've all failed to do that. I don't know what I'm afraid of more - the world being destroyed by war or the government cutting my Social Security checks just to finance the war. What little money they have given me always goes to stupid things they trick me into buying because of war, like extra rolls of duct tape.
BOUNCER MIKE: I support the President and the war. What he is doing is bringing democracy to a backward region of the world. Once they see how democracy works, they'll appreciate us even more. It's just like how we won the war in Vietnam and kept them from going Communist. There might have been some people who thought it was a bad idea at first, but it paid off in the long run. Can you imagine what would have happened if we had let the Communists take over?
SKULL MADISON: Of course, we were right to go to war with Iraq. All wars were meant to be. There has never been a war that should not have taken place. Look at how much we've gained by going into Iraq. We caught that evil tyrant Saddam Hussein, who still owes us for all the weapons we gave him during the Reagan years. We captured their oil fields, which you would think would make all the environmentalists finally shut up about alternative energy. And we're about to transform their country into a democracy just like ours, once we put the right person in power over there. Make no bones about it. This is a just war.
GURU DION: No, we should not have gone to war with Iraq, just like we should not have gone to war with them in 1991. The Bush family loves to start wars because that's how they make their money for themselves and their friends. It's just like World War II when the Bush family hit the jackpot by financing the Hitler regime. All of the wars are phony. They are all about an elite group of madmen playing a big monopoly game with all of our lives. It's all about the government borrowing money so they could pay off their defense contractor friends, who helped them get elected. End of story.
GOOFBALL GREG: Remember 9/11? Of course, we had to fight Iraq. After all, they were the ones responsible for 9/11. That's what the President kept saying night after night in his speeches. If you notice there hasn't been another 9/11 since all because we won the war in Iraq. They had weapons of mass destruction and they were going to launch a nuclear war on us if we didn't do something. Who knows? Maybe there wouldn't be a world today if we had not have toppled Saddam Hussein. The world is a much safer place today now that he's not in power. We've brought peace and democracy to the Middle East for the first time ever all because of Bush.
SCIENTIST: Global warming, pollution and cancer will get us long before the terrorists do. That's why we have got to pull out of Iraq and concentrate on bigger issues that effect all of us. We complain about them possibly having chemical weapons, yet we've contributed to a huge radiation problem over there ourselves. Iraq should be declared a disaster area and everyone should be evacuated. Oil is running out soon, so there's no use fighting over it.
SARA MOTH: We had to get Saddam. He gassed his own people, he violated U.N. resolutions, he was a tyrant, he was part of the axis of evil, he invaded his neighbor, Kuwait, for no reason and he had weapons of mass destruction. He's probably the guy behind the anthrax incidents and he tried to kill the President. He did all this bad stuff over the past twenty years and we finally got him. Thank you, George W. Bush. We finally got someone who finished the job. Clinton didn't do one thing to stop him because he was too busy having sex with Monica.
WOODY: We can't go back and change history, we just have to live with it. Besides, what are we supposed to do, go against the President? After all, he is our President, and we should respect the office and believe whatever he says, since that's what democracy is really all about. He obviously has a lot more military experience than the rest of us, so I don't think it's a good idea to second guess the President. I trust him more than Clinton, who lied to a grand jury about having an affair. What's worse than that? At least Bush has never been convicted of a felony.
CONDI ROSE: (aggressively nodding affirmatively almost puppet-like) My view is that first of all, let me just step back and say I do not believe it is a good analysis to go back and ask these type of questions. I think we're better structured today than in the past. Sorry if I didn't completely answer your question.


THESE TALK RADIO HOSTS ARE ALL SAYING THE SAME THING:


They all support any war at any cost regardless of its objectives




all drawings © 2004 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.