TANGENT SUNSET

COMMON CREEPS by Alex Cosper

Who do you think won the first Bush-Kerry debate? (10/1/04)

respondent quote
UNKNOWN SKEPTIC: Oh, I think Kerry clobbered Bush, there's no doubt about it. Bush appeared weak, hunched over, inarticulate, at a loss of words. In other words, he was just being Bush. I dislike both candidates, because neither are giving us a chance to vote on this war, but I'll vote for Kerry just to send a message that you shouldn't get to keep your job if you don't do your job.
CANDY: Bush won, clearly. He exposed Kerry as a flip flopper and Kerry was so ashamed he couldn't admit it. Besides, I grew up in a Repulican family that taught me God is a Republican who loves America. Kerry obviously hates America and is sending mixed messages to our troops, which is exactly what Bush was talking about. I don't think Bush will have any problem getting re-elected after that debate.
COOL LEE: I didn't watch the debate because I try to stay away from politics as much as I can. According to what I read in the papers today, though, it looks like Kerry won. Beyond that I can't comment because I really don't know the difference between the two candidates other than the fact that one is for the war and the other criticizes the war but still wants war.
HARRY S: The press finally got it right. Kerry won big time. His best line of the night was something like "invading Iraq in response to 9/11 would be like FDR invading Mexico in response to Pearl Harbor." That damn S.O.B. Bush withered at that point, and that was in the first five minutes.
MR. BIG BIZ: It looks like Bush cleaned up. He really nailed Kerry about authorizing the President to go to war and then turning against it just for the sake of politics. With the economy turning around like it has, I doubt Bush will lose, even though that's what the liberal media is hoping. I think the only way Kerry can win the people's trust now is if he comes out supporting Bush. Then again, why change horses in the middle of the stream when everything is working just fine with Bush?
JENNIFER: Kerry was very direct and forceful and I think he made Bush look like a squirrel. Bush said "our coalition is strong and will remain strong if I am President." Even the dumbest Republicans know that the Iraq thing isn't going well and Kerry was smart to point out there really is no coalition beyond the U.S., Britain and a bunch of other countries that only sent small groups of people. I'm against the war, but I guess I have to vote for Kerry just because Bush is the one who got us into this war that should have never happened.
LEFT GUARD LARRY: This thing about we need to go on offense to fight the terrorists before they attack us in a way is like football. But then again, if you study who makes it to the big game and wins, defense always comes before offense. So in that sense, Bush is a fool. I understand Condoleeza Rice really wants to be NFL Commissioner. Now that is impressive, but let's face it, chicks should stay out of football because it's a man's game and so far Bush hasn't proved he's a man either.
SKULL MADISON: I was very impressed by Bush and annoyed by Kerry. Bush is correct when he says the Patriot Act is vital. We need to suspend the Bill of Rights because all it does is weaken our intelligence. Let's suspend our idealism that America is a free country so that we can focus on keeping this war going as long as possible, because Halliburton deserves to make profits on reconstruction of Iraq, being that our Vice President once ran that great company. The only point I wish Bush could have made that he didn't really cover is even after we get full control of the oil, let's just stay there and occupy the country.
FATHER SULLIVAN: When I heard Kerry close with "God Bless America" I was relieved that he is not as evil as I suspected. I may consider voting for him, but at the same time if the Christian coalition is firmly behind Bush, then I gotta go with Bush.
JOHN SKERRY: First let me point out that the only stupid thing about this debate, other than everything Bush said, is that both candidates stumbled by mixing up Osama bin Laden with Saddam Hussein. At least Kerry really knows the difference. Other than that Kerry buried Bush. "You don't take a country to war unless you have a plan to win the peace" was Kerry's strongest line. I think Kerry's gearing up for the same kind of last round knockout punch that he gave Howard Dean. Now if he can just lose the long face, drooping eyes and fake delivery we might be able to win over some of the swing voters who can care less about issues.




all drawings © 2004 by Alex Cosper. All Rights Reserved.